


Some assembly required

by theOverly



Series: Short Good Omens stories [3]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Domestic, Gen, IKEA Furniture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:00:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23285146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theOverly/pseuds/theOverly
Summary: How many celestial beings does it take to assemble a dresser?
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Short Good Omens stories [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1674562
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Some assembly required

“No no no, the instructions say you’re to use the short screw.”

“I am using the short screw.”

“Are you certain? It looks a lot pointier than the image…”

“Pointier?”

Crowley snatches up the instructions from where it’s laying next to him on the floor, leafing through it whilst Aziraphale returns to the first of three drawers he’s constructing, all three which are to go into the frame of the dresser the demon is working on. The angel has the front and two side panels assembled, now all he needs to do is slide the bottom in along the slots-… oh, he has accidentally assembled the sides with the slots facing outwards, that’s rather embarrassing…

As he goes about disconnecting the sides the demon growls in frustration. “There’s a flat short screw in a second package?!” he slaps the instructions down on the floor. “That’s it, I’m miracling this thing together.”

“No.” Aziraphale disagrees firmly, pulling the two sides off the front. “We agreed, no miracle’s unless there’s an emergency.” He switches the sides around.

“This is an emergency.” Crowley argues. “We’re being bloody tortured here!” he waves a hand over what little progress he has made, nothing more than connecting the two legs to one of the side panels.

“Patience, my dear fellow.” He urges with a smile which turns triumphant as he slides the bottom in place between the slots. “Human’s do this all the time,” He reaches for the back panel of the drawer. “A little manual labour won’t hurt.” he eyes the panel suspiciously, curious as to why it seems rather big compared to the sides.

“That’s probably for the larger bottom drawer, angel.” The demon informs, a sly grin curling his lips.

Aziraphale narrows his eyes to level him with a pouty glare before placing the piece of wood back on the table and reaching for another of the backs, this one smaller. As he puts it in place between the sides, he reaches for an odd looking plastic nail with ridges and pushes it against one of the holes, meaning to only pin it in place whilst he reaches for the hammer. He forgets his own strength and accidentally pushes the nail all the way in, blinking at it in surprise for a moment before shrugging and reaching for a second nail. Crowley growls from the floor, digging out the correct screw from the aforementioned second package and pinning it against the small hole in the wood with the tiny orange screwdriver. It whirls in protest for a moment, a slow and sad sound which normally means it has little to no battery, but such things are of no importance to celestial beings, and so it swiftly forgets that it even needs a battery and turns the screw tight under the pressure Crowley puts on it.

Two hours consisting of arguments (and a near nervous breakdown from the demon) later and the angel is carrying the now completed dresser to it’s proper place, taking a step back and nodding in satisfaction.

“Hey angel,” he turns to find Crowley padding towards him, uncurling a fist to show of a small piece of metal. “I found a screw.”

**Author's Note:**

> As someone who's been assembling IKEA furniture since childhood and finds it enjoyable, I've never understood people complaining about it.
> 
> Until I bought a Hemnes dresser and thoroughly messed up the assembly.
> 
> Feel free to send me a prompt or an idea for a short story.


End file.
